I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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