She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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