I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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