That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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