So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
