So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
