hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
