I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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