bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
