Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
