Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
