I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
