Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
