you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
