hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
