There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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