bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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