the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
