Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
