dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We just shotgunned beers for America
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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