I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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