He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Boobs speak an international language.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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