AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
