so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize