Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
