smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
