theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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