The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
