I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
