the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
