i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
