You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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