omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize