Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
