Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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