she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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