If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
