like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
