So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
