would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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