i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
