I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
