You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
