so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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