Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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