I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
