Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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