Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
