Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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