Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
