You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
