I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
