Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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