Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
