Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
