WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
