im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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