Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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