I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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