There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
