She's JV to your varsity
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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