I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
