This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
